If you had it all to do over again

From The "You Can't Make This Stuff Up Department" New Jersey division-

Every time I write one of these columns for the paper, I hold my breath — not knowing for sure how it’s going to look in print. A good rule of thumb is that ministers should probably steer clear of the media, as was proven by this one, recently widowed Episcopal priest who simply wanted to place an ad in the local newspaper. But this is how it appeared:

"The Rev. A. J. Garven has one TV set for sale. Call 789-8989 after 7 p.m. and ask for Mrs. Donnelley who lives with him" — and that’s where Rev. Garven put a period mark so the next word of the next sentence would stand out all by itself: "cheap." All done, end of ad.

Unfortunately, the newspaper left out the period, and so the ad actually appeared: "The Rev. A. J. Garven has one TV set for sale. Telephone 789-8989 and ask for Mrs. Donnelley who lives with him cheap."

Tuesday’s paper immediately offered a correction: "We regret any embarrassment to Rev. Garven caused by a typographical error in yesterday’s paper. It should have read: ‘Rev. Garven has one TV set for sale cheap. Call 789-8989 and ask for Mrs. Donnelley who lives with him after 7 p.m.’"

Wednesday’s paper tried again: "Rev. Garven informs us that he has received several annoying telephone calls because of an incorrect ad in yesterday’s paper. It should have read: ‘A. J. Garven has one TV set for sale cheap. Call 789-8989 after 7 p.m. and ask for Mrs. Donnelley who [and then a careless typing mistake: the word l-i-v-e was mistyped into l-o-v-e] who loves with him.’"

Thursday’s paper posted a response directly from the minister: "Please take note that I, Rev. Garven, have no TV set for sale. I have smashed it. Don’t call 789-8989 any more. I have not been carrying on with Mrs. Donnelley." Alas, for a second time, that’s where Rev. Garven put a period so his next sentence would begin: "Until yesterday, Mrs. Donnelley was my housekeeper." No such luck. Without the period mark the two sentences running together came out: "I have not been carrying on with Mrs. Donnelley until yesterday…"

More here

http://www.northjersey.com/news/opinions/138103518_If_you_had_it_all_to_do_over_again.html